Kinkeda Clash FAKs
What is Kinkeda Clash?
Kinkeda Clash (also known as Kinkeda Kombat Clash) is a simple thumb game for two people that takes about 1 minute to play.
Reigning Galactic Champion
2016 - Brent Mills - wins Galactic Championships the first time he plays Kinkeda... whaaat? (this is only known photo of the reclusive musical genius)
Loser Runner Up - Yuki Haraguchi
Past Galactic Champions
2015 - JT Thomas
Loser Runner Up - Marcus Johnson
future 2017 Galactic Champion- your photo/name here?
After the comp finishes on Friday night
One on One elimination rounds in the party suite.
All Pro-Ams, Amateurs and Pros competing at the Ballroom Beach Bash and Competition staff will be warmly welcomed :).
Do I need to have played before?
Prior experience not necessary at all (in fact the organizers will be competing and have indicated they would actually prefer that you have no prior experience).
How to I enter?
Sign-up at Registration in advance, (or just turn up on the night).
Is there an entry fee?
Top Male and Female King and Kween of Kinkeda titles to be won (Prize to be announced)
Featured Face off between King and Kween for the BBB sanctioned official Galactic Yearly Undisputed Unisex Kinkeda Open Combat Klash Association (GYUUKOCKA) title and Trophy.
Any other reason I should show up?
A lot of fun and great company.
How do you play Kinkeda Klash?
What is the objective?
The objective is to have the calling player try to guess correctly how many combined thumbs will be displayed in the thumbs up position after they call out the word "Kinkeda". If the caller guesses correctly they get to withdraw one hand. If they guess incorrectly nothing changes. The players alternate being the caller. First person to withdraw both hands wins.
How do you play it?
It is so simple that at the comp we can show you how to play in 15 seconds, and you will be an expert 30 seconds later. But if you still want to read about how it works here it is.
1) Sit or stand apart from but facing your opponent with your hands closed into fists and extended out in front of you at waist height (with thumbs on top).
2) Decide who will start by coin toss.
3) Winner of the coin toss starts, calling out "Kinkeda" and a number. At the same time the number is being uttered by the caller, each player raises 0, 1, or 2 of their thumbs up.
The word Kinkeda has 3 syllables. The word Kinkeda and a number is called and the thumbs are raised simultaneously in rhythm with the number being called out (what would be a 4th syllable if it was all one word). E.g. Kin-ke-da-one, (caller is guessing 1 thumb will be pointed up), Kin-ke-da-zero (caller is guessing 0 thumbs will be pointed up)
4) With two players at the start of the game the possible number of thumbs showing is 0,1,2,3,or 4. The overall maximum possible number of thumbs showing reduces by 1 each time a hand is withdrawn.
5) If the caller correctly guessed the number of thumbs showing up, they withdraw one hand. If they are wrong nothing changes. The call turn then goes to the opponent.
6) First person to withdraw both hands wins.
At the Ballroom Beach Bash, or for that matter any other competition you see her judging at during the year, ask Ex Kinkeda Champion Toni Redpath (insert Toni comment: Ex? what Ex....you're an Ex!!) for a Free Lesson on how to play Kinkeda.
Suggested training Books /Videos (available at the Ballroom Beach Bash Store).
- "How to Read your opponent like the Palm of your Hand" Palmistry and the competitive advantage.
- "Thpeed Thumbing extherthitheth " Stronger Thumbs for all occasions.
- "Does the size of your Thumb Matter?" What is an average sized thumb? The Mass vs. Speed discussion resolved.
- "The Mind Thumb Connection" Mental preparation for Kinkeda Combat.
- "Under My Thumbnail" Dirty Fighting Secrets of a Professional Kinkeda Competitor
- "How to treat Numb Thumb" Care and treatment for Kommon Kinkeda injuries.
- "They Called me Cutey Kool" Memoirs of the former No,1 ranked female Kinkeda competitor (No, it wasn't Toni:).
- "Winkatda Wombat" Australian Rules Kinkeda Combat (apparently it involves beer somehow...and Wombats).
- "Opposing Thumbs" A study of the Evolution of the Kinkeda Competitor showing evidence that followers of the sport are definitely superior to hoofed animals (at holding things).
Recommended Kinkeda Pre Match Warm Up Stretches
The Broke Back Bend (highly recommended for first timers by Jonathan)
The Over and Under Twist
The Flip Over Pull (or as Jonathan prefers ..The Angel in Flight)
Note: Toni says the facial expressiveness (some might say distortions) made while stretching are merely a sign of focus and intensity. The accompanying noises (you can actually hear her stretching noises on her soon to be released DVD "Getting the Kinks out with Kinkeda Stretches!") she says should be viewed as the equivalent of the female Pro tennis players grunting when they hit a tennis ball, or a Latin dancer uttering "Sssa!" whilst executing a speedy manouver (thereby indicating audibly to any judge watching them just how fast they wish they were moving).
Dangerous Moves! (and also illegal)
The following have been determined to be ILLEGAL MOVES by the GYUUKOCKA (Galactic Yearly Undisputed Unisex Kinkeda Open Combat Klash Association, or UKOCKA for short) Governing Board of Directors.
The DDA (Direct Digit Attack)
Kinkeda Klash (despite its aggressive sounding name) is a strictly non-contact sport. (Toni had to use a disinfectant mouthwash after this photo was taken, and Jonathan went to the local ER for Rabies testing and a tetanus shot)
Under the Thumb
As accustomed as we may be in everyday life to this particular scenario, all competitors must remain seated (or standing, kneeling, squatting, etc) at all times during the competition.
No third party hands permitted (Disclaimer: No hands were harmed in the shooting of this photo).
Note: It is rumored that this illegal Palming move was first observed at competitions run by the disreputable WTFK (World Toe Fighting Kouncil) and is referred to in those circles as "Toeing the Mark".
Additional Note: they were using a foot.
Monkey Foot Gambit
Darwin might have believed monkeys are our close relatives (see Jonathan's back), but it states in the official UKOCKA rule book (currently in its 12th reprint) we are not monkeys! Therefore upper body digits only please competitors!
Note: It is rumoured this illegal footwork originates from WTFK style competition technique, and is being illegally used in at UKOCKA events to try to confuse and distract ones opponent and judges both optically and olfactorily.
Why Galactic Championships? Why not just World Championships?
Why bother with only the World when you can go Galactic, (we all know we are not alone in the universe and it is only a matter of time, aliens welcome but no more than 2 thumbs in play at a time please).
Showing visionary foresight and strategic advance planning ahead, a truly stellar job on the part of the Governing Board of Directors (Editors note:or indicates control issues?).